Being a mom is hard, really hard. I love my baby so much and I know without a doubt it is all worth it. I guess I just didn’t expect it to be so hard. I see my siblings and how great they are with their kids,. I read the blog posts that talk about how magical it is – and it is – but it’s hard. When they placed Hermione on my chest I knew that she was MINE. I knew that I loved her so much, as soon as I touched her little hand I was a goner. I’m not really one to cry about things like that, but I was sobbing. My heart is so full with her in my life. I didn’t know then that when you come home the real work begins. Or, I didn’t know what real work was.
Breastfeeding is hard
awful. I am calling B.S. on every blog post I have ever read that says it is some wonderful thing. I didn’t know boobs could hurt this badly. Also, the guilt and shame of not doing it right, or the right amount/correct timing/long enough. Who decided that to be a good mom you have to be good at breastfeeding?! I’m doing it because I love my baby and I know it will give her a great start, but if I decided to bottle feed I would NOT be any less of a mom.
Sleeping is also hard, although I can’t complain too much because she has at least started to figure out her days and nights. My recommendation to any new or soon to be moms is to not read any books. It will only stress you out when you can’t seem to get your baby to follow the schedule the book has outlined. In one book i read it said that if your baby doesn’t sleep for four hours at a time they will get ADD or have other issues. Are you kidding?!! Anyway, maybe books are useful later on. But NOT for a brand new mom. Just my opinion.
I think I am starting to get the hang of things, and hopefully Hermione is used to me. Or we are used to each other. Or something. I still have hard times in my day though. Like today she took one very short morning nap (do to a HUGE blow out) and hasn’t really slept since. She is kind of sleeping in her rocker right now (not well though) and even if she does it is super late in the day. I’m worried now that she won’t sleep tonight.
No sleep makes me a grouch. And she’s awake …